Today, I might be in Pain
But today
I feel on top of the world
I feel great behind the camera
I feel great knowing it is my future
Archive for August, 2009
W/pain but feeling Joy
Posted in 1 on August 21, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
11 Years in Hell
Posted in 1, 9-11, Beyond the front, Lincoln University, Loss of freedom, Military Health System, Suicide Commando, VA, afghanistan, army, back pain, battlefield trauma, baumholder, beauty of life, birthday, bosnia, catherine whitney, civilian supporting soldiers, fighting back, ft riley, ft stewart, hanau, hell, horrors of war, m1a1, mental health, migraine, migs, military baggage, mtbi, neck pain, pain, politics, ptsd, realistic combat situations, sniper, soldiers, stigma, suicide prevention, tank, teamwork, traumatic event, troopm, usa today, veterans, vets, war, weakness, wiesbaden, tagged troopm, michael troop, vet, ptsd, army, hell, military, m1a1, tank, headaches, migraines, injures, turret on August 20, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
The pressure my head down suddenly but as the pressure released I thought someone had fallen on me. Then a second impact as the front of the tank dropped. We were still moving forward at great a momentum. My hand went colder, my head flung forward again and I got dizzy. I felt pain in the neck, back and thought I just lost my fingers as my hand rang with cold pain. The pressure released again and I pulled my hand out from the hatch seal. Blood covered my glove and the pain radiated up my arm into my shoulder.
Pissed Vet
Posted in 1, 9-11, AAR, Beyond the front, Buddhist, DA, Fine Day, Gregg Zoroya, Lincoln University, Loss of freedom, Lt. Col. George Wright, Military Health System, Suicide Commando, Suicide by Cop, VA, afghanistan, army, art, back pain, battlefield trauma, baumholder, beauty of life, bell, bosnia, casey, catherine whitney, civilian supporting soldiers, dr. phil, fighting back, ft riley, ft stewart, hanau, horrors of war, mental health, migraine, migs, miley cyrus, military baggage, mtbi, neck pain, neda, pain, photographic censorship, photography, politics, ppp, ptsd, realistic combat situations, sniper, soldiers, stars and strips, stigma, suicide prevention, teamwork, title 5, traumatic event, troopm, urinalyses, usa today, veterans, vets, war, weakness, wiesbaden, tagged vet, ptsd, pissed, anger, disability, mmrb on August 18, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
I am pissed for I feel alone, isolated and it is as if no one is listening to me. It is a silence that is hard to bare. I wish upon them a night in my shoes, just one night in hopes their minds will melt into a true caregiver instead of a money grabbing, smart pretending common senseless complacent prick!
Suicide Commando, So Many Questions
Posted in 1, Suicide Commando, Suicide by Cop, battlefield trauma, beauty of life, fighting back, horrors of war, migraine, neck pain, pain, photography, soldiers, stars and strips, stigma, suicide prevention, teamwork, traumatic event, veterans, vets, wiesbaden, tagged Suicide Commando, So Many Questions on August 14, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
So many questions.
12 days on top of the world just to fall today….Shit!
So it was fitting to find this song tonight
Barefoot Bells
Posted in 1, 9-11, AAR, Beyond the front, Buddhist, DA, Fine Day, Gregg Zoroya, Lincoln University, Loss of freedom, Lt. Col. George Wright, Military Health System, afghanistan, army, art, back pain, battlefield trauma, baumholder, beauty of life, bell, bosnia, casey, catherine whitney, civilian supporting soldiers, dr. phil, fighting back, ft riley, ft stewart, hanau, horrors of war, mental health, migraine, migs, miley cyrus, military baggage, mtbi, neck pain, pain, photographic censorship, photography, politics, ptsd, realistic combat situations, sniper, soldiers, stars and strips, stigma, suicide prevention, traumatic event, troopm, usa today on August 11, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
Peace fell upon me as I slipped within
I tasted the salty sea upon my lips
Using Blogs For Recovery (FOR DA)
Posted in 1, 9-11, AAR, Beyond the front, DA, Lincoln University, Loss of freedom, Military Health System, Suicide by Cop, VA, afghanistan, army, back pain, battlefield trauma, baumholder, beauty of life, bosnia, civilian supporting soldiers, fighting back, ft riley, ft stewart, hanau, horrors of war, mental health, migs, military baggage, mtbi, neck pain, pain, ptsd, realistic combat situations, sniper, soldiers, stigma, suicide prevention, title 5, traumatic event, troopm, veterans, vets, war, weakness, wiesbaden, tagged blog, ptsd, soldiers, mtbi, army, military, AAR, DA, stress, treatment, WINN, stewart, fear on August 10, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
Just over a week ago, after a calendar scrub at WINN, I was in the lobby talking to another Soldier, someone I know who has issues like mine. We were sharing our thoughts, talking about how we are dealing with them. Ok, maybe the lobby was not the best location but we were not being loud and careful with our words but while talking, a Major walked by and said, “You two better be quite or someone will call the MPs and have you arrested for talking like terrorists”. She was serious in her words and walked away pissed.
A Fine, Fine Day
Posted in 1, 9-11, Beyond the front, Lincoln University, Loss of freedom, Military Health System, Suicide by Cop, VA, afghanistan, back pain, battlefield trauma, baumholder, beauty of life, bell, bosnia, civilian supporting soldiers, dr. phil, fighting back, ft riley, ft stewart, horrors of war, mental health, migraine, migs, miley cyrus, military baggage, mtbi, neck pain, pain, photographic censorship, photography, politics, ptsd, realistic combat situations, sniper, soldiers, stigma, suicide prevention, traumatic event, troopm, usa today, veterans, vets, war, weakness, wiesbaden on August 4, 2009 | 1 Comment »
I want to hold on to these feelings, these thoughts, this is the old me! Maybe it is because I placed a end date on my military/civil service. Maybe it is because I am now embracing my photography. Maybe it is because I am being true to my family and placing them first in my life again and taking the stress of everything else. Whatever the case, this course must continue for my own sake.
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